I think about the possibility of motherhood every day, of what it might mean to be a “mother.” My husband and I began talking about it more than a year ago, and he is ready to be a parent. But for me, the canvas of motherhood is a scary landscape, accompanied by a never-ceasing cycle of anxious thoughts and scenarios.
I did not grow up dreaming of being a mother. It was a possibility, even a probability, but I didn’t think of it much beyond a blurred image far into the future. It was as imaginary to me as Harry Potter or Narnia: the mysterious Land of Motherhood. Even after I married my husband, I thought, "Sure, in the next few years, just not now."
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